Monday, April 25, 2011

I'm Such a Chicken, You Can Cover Me In Shake n' Bake and Cook me in the Oven

     My entire life I have always been a big giant chicken. I am paranoid and jumpy with everything. I would say that I am afraid of the dark, but its not as exclusive as that. I am just afraid period. Being by myself during the day is considerably better than at night, but I am still scared during the DAY. Yes you heard me....daytime.
     During the day I am more afraid of people trying to break in and kidnap me and at night its both people and "monsters." I ALWAYS feel like someone is watching me somehow and it creeps me out. Especially when i'm in darkness. I always feel like there is some ugly demonic face getting closer to mine as I sleep or walk across a dark room. I can't even take a shower or wash my face without having a mini panic attack.
     I am so paranoid that while my eyes are clenched shut due to the soap covering my face, I am freaking out in my mind. I'm thinking that whatever it is, is using my vulnerability of having my eyesight temporarily disabled to sneak up on me and grab me. You all may think i'm ridiculous, but I now have a technique to washing my face so I can still see......I just wash one side of my face at a time so that one eye is still open. Crazy you say? You would think that, but your judgment will be short lived one you are getting attacked by a mutilated corpse that had risen from the dead to kill you!
    I have always been like this, but the reason my fears got to the point of being out of control was because my wonderful dad and fantastic sister (I wish there was a sarcasm font) decided it would be fun to play off my fears of being murdered by ghosts, zombies, aliens etc. I was only five and my dad would hide under my bed and try and grab my feet as I got into bed, sending me screaming from my room and into his bed where he would suffer all night by me pretty much wedging myself between him and the mattress. They would scratch at my window in the middle of the night and tell me the scariest stories they could come up with. My sister even made me sit through the movies Leprechaun and Chucky, which I know are extremely corny, but to a five year old its terrifying.
    It doesn't help that I have an extremely over-active imagination. I will NOT EVRRRRR watch scary movies. If I do I wont be able to function alone properly. I don't need movies to feed my psycho fear processing mind. I think of the most effed up scenarios and monsters on my own. At this very moment I am alone at home and I heard a noise at the front of the house and I keep glancing at my bedroom doorway, expecting a man with half his head blown off and no lips creeping into my room making nasty gurgling noises and licking his bloody teeth with a rotting black slimy tongue thats oozing puss. Yeah and he wants to kill me slowly and painfully. Good thing my demon fighting cat is here to protect me. God only knows what I would do without her.
     That being said.....I am going to go check that all my doors are locked and my windows are secure. I'm sure glad my fiance packed us a zombie apocalypse survival food pack. =]

Noodle Cakes

1 comment:

  1. I forgot to tell you, the scariest movie I ever watched was 'Candyman' on Halloween night! Scary movies don't usually scare me much because I usually have the story line figured out pretty much from the start. But 'Candyman' just about scared the life right out of me. So much so, that I was terrified of just the thought & idea of considering the challenge at the end of the movie. That movie haunted me for a long time. You MUST watch it next Halloween...or anytime! (Mwahahahaha-evil laugh while wringing hands!) But do NOT, under any circumstances, watch it alone. You may actually die of fear or a heart attack.